


Pressure

by orphan_account



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-20
Updated: 2013-06-20
Packaged: 2017-12-15 14:52:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/850808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Gavin couldn't even lie and say it was fine, because it hurt knowing that he was just a passing attraction. Some feeble, short-lived object that Geoff wanted so badly, but could only handle in small doses. Gavin would be stupid to pretend it didn't hurt."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pressure

There was too much of it.

Too much of them. Too much of lying to people who mattered. They knew ever since it began that it wouldn't last. It was fleeting, because it was hurting the better part of both of them. Gavin couldn't even lie and say it was fine, because it hurt knowing that he was just a passing attraction. Some feeble, short-lived object that Geoff wanted so badly, but could only handle in small doses. Gavin would be stupid to pretend it didn't hurt.

But in the bigger picture, his situation was far easier than Geoff’s. Maybe that's what made him so deluded for so long. Without any real attachment to someone else and only the feeble pressure of other people’s opinions to sway him otherwise, he was in a far better place than the other man would ever be about _them_. So when he kissed Geoff, he felt only the barest of anxiety. He lived in those moments, because he knew they would be fleeting. And in a sense, he’d learnt to rid himself of the pressure whilst the other drowned in it. Only one physical reminder stayed with Gavin, that physical weight of lips against his was the strain in this relationship. So when they came together like this, Gavin could forget that what he was doing was wrong.

So when he kissed Geoff, fingers clutching the front of Geoff's shirt in a grip he never wanted to drop, it was the older man who pulled away. Confusion and dread and near-horror painted across his face like a macabre gallery.

   "Geoff?” Gavin tried to lean forward again, lips part and brow knitting together. Wishing he'd stop thinking again.

  “I can’t, Gavin. **_Fuck…_** I-“ he cut himself off, pulling away from Gavin like he’d been burnt. Gavin could feel a slight sting in the pit of his stomach.

All the worries started to fall on top of Geoff in a way they hadn’t before. He couldn’t do this to his family. He couldn’t. The pressure of it was too much and too real, and he couldn’t push against it. He wouldn’t even if he tried. His head would eat away at him until there was nothing left if he did. Even if he wanted Gavin so much, on a level he couldn't yet comprehend, he wouldn't give it time to settle in.

   “Gavin, I’m married for Christ's sake! I can't do this. This needs to stop.”

Gavin just watched with blank eyes as Geoff backed up, and for a moment he could understand. That confused look in his eyes calmed him for the shortest of moments.

But then he remembered.

Each knowing glance, each stolen kiss and wondered why he could have dealt with that weight for so long, but this time it was different. Nothing but anger and betrayal filled him up to the point where his fists clutched marks into his palm.

   “What’s so different? We’ve done this before, why can’t yo-“

   “I _can’t_ , Gavin. I can’t deal with it anymore. You don’t know how guilty I feel, every fucking time. It's not worth it.”

Gavin couldn’t even deny he was hurt, because the pain and embarrassment that ripped across his chest almost felt like an open wound.

_He wasn't worth it._

When Geoff left the house, just to get away from him, he knew that’d be the last time. Everything had caved and broken, and as much as Gavin wanted Geoff, he couldn't have him.

Gavin might have been able to deal with the weight of the relationship, but the fact was – Geoff couldn’t.

**Author's Note:**

> If you would like to reblog or like this fic on tumblr:
> 
> http://teaandotherstuff.tumblr.com/post/44471015768/pressure


End file.
